How I’ve learnt to Ride the Wave. Pt. 5 ACCEPT WHAT IS – MY STRUGGLE WITH IT!

As mentioned in my last note, this week I will discuss further the tool of ACCEPTING WHAT IS, as it has applied to my experiences and expansion.

I am going to go into a bit more detail about one of my experiences with ACCEPTING WHAT IS. Part of my past struggle to come to terms with life events, in the moment. What I have written is hardly touching the surface of what I experienced during this time and how it has impacted my life today, yet it will give you a basis. Utilising the tool of ACEPTING WHAT IS, does take practice.

In 2015 I had another big lift altering experience, where I bared witness to my entire life, as I knew it at the time, come crashing down around me (again) and there was nothing I could do to stop what was happening. I was unable to live in my own home, was forced to give up a man and child I loved dearly and was unable to continue receiving an income (again). I didn’t even have a town to class as “home”. I was being tested in Trust. To once again step into the unknown and prove to myself all it well. Maybe you can relate to this in your own way!

The only place I had to call my own, where I felt “safe” was in my car. My car became my refuge, my security. Did I sleep in it at times to be in my own space, yes! Did people think I was crazy, yes! Did I care what they thought, No!

Just to clarify, this isn’t to say there was no place for me to stay, no jobs available to me or no other people to step into the “family” role. As most people from the outside saw it, these were all available and true, in one sense they were. However, for me to be following my higher path, they were simply off limits. What others saw as many possibilities, were not right for me and my path. They held me back, not propelling me forward. Most people just couldn’t understand it.

It was a situation where the higher aspect of me, soul if you want to call it that, stood firm and said NO MORE!! No more holding yourself back, when you know there is more for you to bring to this earthly experience.

I had resisted the signs (yes I was aware to some degree of what was coming) creating my own demise. These events were created to force me into the change I was NEEDING, though ego was not wanting and was fighting it all the way (though being a light worker, I was aware there were other things at play also). Anyway, for the purpose of this note, I will not go into the esoteric factors.

So did I/my ego struggle with all these events taking place at one time, YES! Did my heart feel crushed, ripped to pieces? YES! Did I feel overwhelmed and confused at times? YES! Did I experience anger, hurt and pain? YES! Did I see a simple solution, YES! Did it manifest simply, NO.

However, what I was able to recognise, as I fell into another period of what some refer to as “The Dark Night of the Soul”, was it will all be ok.

As much of a contradiction as it sounds, while I was watching and experiencing so many changes taking place too fast for my physical, metal and emotional systems to keep up with. While I/my ego resisted letting go of the last of my security and stability, this time to a more permanent degree than years before. During the moments I dropped to my lowest and added more drama, sinking into my victim mode. I also had this inner knowing it was all taking place for my highest good. I had allowed myself to get attached to the Western world again, to somewhat adapt myself to fit in, yet I knew my inner calling. I knew I needed to, once and for all, allow the release of all which no longer served me, to fully step into my power. My inner child panicked, my past came to the surface to heal, outdated thought patterns, behaviours and words came up for review. EPIC TRANSFORMATION, is an understatement!!

I remember very clearly, in moments of pure despair, going to my mother, curling myself up on her lap as I would as a child (mind you, 35 years old at the time), with uncontrollable tears pouring from my already blood shot eyes, my heart feeling at breaking point with the weight of my sadness, where she would loving say to me “I don’t know what to do to help”.

Even in these dark times I would say to her “There is nothing you can do. This is all part of the process and I know it will be ok. I just have to make it through. I understand why this is happening.” “It is all making way for something better”. All I asked her to do was comfort me by placing her hand on the back of my heart chakra until what needed to release at that point in time passed. I allowed myself to release as it came up and did not take on the always “strong” role, as I had in the past.

For me, this very experience with my mother showed me I knew there was something more. I knew there was a bigger plan for me which needed to unfold and I knew I would be ok. However, if I remained where I was, I was not able to fulfil it. Could there have been an easier road, quite possibly, yet I took this one. This I can now ACCEPT.

So during this time which lasted almost 2 years (you will learn more about it through my seminars), my ability to ACCEPT WHAT IS was tested to the extreme.

In those brief moments when I could put myself into an INNER SPACE of ALIGNMENT, I could see the bigger picture and ACCEPTING was easier. However, when triggers came up and the emotions started to kick in, things could get out of my control and I was overwhelmed, the INNER ACCEPTANCE was still there, yet overpowered by the ego’s reaction. My old coping mechanisms tried to kick in and my inner child, who was feeling hurt, scared and abandoned was not so accepting of the situations taking place. Even in truth I could say I understood all which was taking place, which I did. My reactions were all over the place.

The reason I write this is to emphasis, you will be tested to ACCEPT WHAT IS. Though through practice, you build the confidence to truly believe it and embrace it. No matter what your situation, when you start the process of ACCEPTING (in the moment), you can shift the power in your favour to decide your response, as opposed to your automatic, subconscious, pre-programed reaction. Try it and see.

I hope this note has been of some benefit to you.

In the coming weeks I will expand on this, my experiences and other tools to help raise your awareness and assist your own expansion further.

I am Tracy Radley, a healer by heart and a leader by trait. I offer you is honesty, integrity and passion in all my interactions with you. May my discoveries be of support and inspiration as you further awaken to your own uniqueness and power.

I invite you to check in on my posts as I unveil to you my journey back to the light. If you have any general questions, please feel free to post them in the comments.

If you would like personal support along your path from someone who has been there, send me a private message to discuss my services.

Many blessings to you, Tracy ox

 

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